Monday, August 23, 2010

What the hell do I do now?

After concluding our Pre-Service Training as champions of the talent show, we had one last task to complete before we were declared official Volunteers: our swearing-in ceremony. On Friday, April 30th, we each woke up with heavy minds and anxious hearts. This would be the day when we were to actually make an official declaration of our dedication to the people of Paraguay, a commitment to stay and work here for 2 years. Training was almost a tryout, an audition, and at the end, we would decide whether or not we made the cut.
After goodbyes with our host families, loading our luggage into dump trucks to be hauled to the Peace Corps office, and intense security reviews, we arrived at the U.S. Embassy. Dressed in our Sunday best, the 45 of us from our training group, G-32, took our seats and sat anxiously through numerous speeches from the Ambassador, our Country Director, and our fellow trainee, Rob. The chills we felt during their words of wisdom and inspiration turned to smiles and squeals as we raised our right hands and swore to serve our countries, the United States and Paraguay. At that moment, our 2 years began. Charged with lots of energy and our newfound responsibility, we spent the weekend in Asuncion, basking in a bit of "luxury" and savoring our last moments together before heading to our sites.



Tuesday morning, the charades came to a close, and I boarded the bus to travel to my site. My site is in the southeastern state of Itapua, a looong 9 hour bus ride away. Luckily I rarely have to travel alone seeing as my Team Ram Rod companion Erik lives 15 minutes from me in the next town over. On that May morning, the two Best Buds!! took the first of many bus trips from Asuncion to Itapua. 9 hours, 2 panic attacks thinking we were on the wrong bus, and lots of conversation, music, and naps later, we arrived. I shared a quick small talk with my new host family and retired to bed. I could hardly sleep, my thoughts swirling of my first day as a Volunteer.
Our Country Director always talks about the first day as a Volunteer when you wake up and say to yourself, "What the hell do I do now?" I woke up thinking exactly that but at the same time thrilled at the unsureness, the adventure of it all. I got up, ate breakfast, and headed to my school churning with excitement thinking about what I would do. Well, I got to school and found that that was already decided for me. The supervisor for all the schools in mine and Erik's county, Profesor Luis, had already planned my first day. We were going to Argentina.
He threw me in his car and whisked me away to a town called Triunfo which sits on the Rio Parana, the border with Argentina. We got out of the car and sat on the bank, watching the river. There was a cool fall breeze and I just remember thinking, as our CD had said but probably intended in a different way, "What the hell do I do now?"
After what felt like an awkward eternity, Luis was ready to go. We started back towards Natalio, my site, but on the way, stopped to visit some schools in Triunfo. I met the principals and the teachers and visited the classrooms. Afterward Luis told me that the schools in Triunfo wanted a Peace Corps Volunteer and asked if I could talk to my boss about getting someone sent there. In the back of my head, I was thinking, "I don't even know the principal and teachers at MY school!" but I shrugged it off and assured him I would do my best for Triunfo.
I arrived at my house that night dumbfounded and confused about how weird of a day I had had. When I laid down that night, I still couldn't quite wrap my head around how different my first day had been than what I had imagined. Looking back on that day, I can only laugh. If I have learned anything in my first three months in site it is that Paraguay is in control. My work, my happiness, my sanity depends on it, and instead of trying to control it, it's better for me to succumb to it. Instead of trying to guide Paraguay, I have to let Paraguay guide me. Because I assure you, it has a lot more surprises up its sleeve.

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